When I give a gift, I don't expect anything in return, especially if the person is not in a position to give gifts. I will understand if they are not able to give me a gift, giving is better than receiving.
I love being able to give gifts no matter what time of the year it is. Though I have had to learn that not everyone will appreciate what I had to go through to make it happen. They want it all but don't give back in return. That is selfishness. I'd rather you give me nothing than to give me a half a$$ gift as if it was some type of afterthought.
I agree with you. So to avoid that feeling of being disappointed, or to avoid the story that we immediately go to, which says that everybody just takes, and I am always the one who is giving, we should probably only give to people who we genuinely want to, and have their presence in our lives be the gift back. If they get us gifts back, then that is a plus. Many people simply cannot afford to buy anything back. Others do not know what to buy you in return. Purchasing gifts for people can be a tricky business.
I'm not really thinking of the reciprocating the gifts that I give. What I mean is that some people do not bother to buy gifts for others because they are selfish and their reason is that they have no budget. That's why I see them every year not being able to afford a gift because they never bothered so they run out of luck. But anyway, I understand that giving is from the heart and we should not wait for the return.
I think that people should be able to spend the money that they earn as they want to spend it, even if it means not budgeting enough to be able to get you a gift. Everyone's priorities are different. What I don't like is when people choose not to get you a gift, which they are perfectly entitled to as we have free will, but then when you exercise your choice not to get them anything, they want to get angry. That is hardly fair is it?
I'm a single mom and and have been estranged from my abusive mother since I was 14. So there is no one that gives me Christmas gifts , I buy myself a couple of things from my Amazon wish list. All the Christmas shopping I do is for my daughter and a couple of her friends. I enjoy making them happy and I feel like my gifts are appreciated.
I have to agree that giving gifts should be just that. You cannot give a gift with the expectation that the receiver will reciprocate. The joy is in the giving and making someone else feel appreciated or special. You are telling others how you feel about them. If you don't receive something in return you need to think about how you made someone feel. That is a gift in itself. I know that sounds corny but you are going to be disappointed if you think that all your gifts will be reciprocated. I mean I give gifts to all of my children's teachers and expect nothing in return. I give gift cards to the mailman, newspaper carrier and bus driver. You can't possibly think these people are going to reciprocate. Gift giving really should be unconditional.
I believe in a bible verse that reads, "blessed is the hand that giveth than the one that receiveth". That's what drives my giving. When it comes to giving gifts, I don't do it to receive another, I do it because of my willingness to. The fulfilment I get is greater than anything I can receive in return. By the way, if someone gave you a gift just because they feel obliged to, would it be worth? Besides, there are no conditions for giving except out of the love to. Giving is a character and we all have different characters which we have to bear with. If you give in anticipation of what to get in return, then you are courting disappointment.
These are the only people I don't feel guilty about sending recycled gifts to. Every year I get things I do not want, and would never use. These items usually get stored away to be re-wrapped and re-gifted to these non-gifters the next year. I do still gift the people. They just get to inherit the ugly sweater and bad country music cd.
Half of my family is poor and I know well that they can't gift me anything. I always gift them something big or small when I can. I end up going to their homes and gifting them something. They thank me by giving me a nice afternoon talk or a nice hot plate. I just like helping out when I can. I wish I were rich. I'd help everyone every day.
Well, if you take my unsolicited advice, I would rather say to you that what you've done is what a Christian is. If you are reading a Bible, you may come across with this verse: "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Since you are giving gifts to people who didn't mind anything in giving back something for you as a token of gratitude, you are more better than them for you will have the blessing of the Lord for being a generous giver, with a willing heart to make them happy.
Ever since I got a job, it became my habit to buy gifts to every one as long as I can afford (and sometimes I get into debt because of that generosity). Especially during the Christmas season, my list for gifts is very long such that I would spend all my savings just to be able to buy all the gifts. And for the return? Maybe I get about 5 to 10 gifts in total while I send out more than 100 gifts. Let's take for instance the neighbors, we give Christmas gifts to about 10 neighbors and we get 1 in return, sometimes 2. But I am not thinking negative on that. In fact, I feel blessed to be able to afford those gifts that I give.
I am often on the other side of the situation. I am the one who recieves but doesn't give back, reason being that I am always low on money so I can't afford gifts for everyone. My family knows and they say they feel good to give while they can and they understand my situation. I usually get gifts for my daughter, more like essentials which I'm most thankful for. Of course I do help them out through out the year with a couple of favors to thank them for everything.
I usually don't much care about receiving gifts in return. I give unconditionally when I feel like. So, I wouldn't mind if someine doesn't return a favour. I give because I want to and sometimes because I have to but in both cases I just forget about the issue thereafter.
That is very true. My advise would be,Give without expecting anything in return.It is such a blessing to give than to receive. I really enjoy giving, more than receiving. That was not the case some few years ago, but I learned from a friend the act of giving without expecting anything in return. That really changed my whole perspective,in terms of giving.
It hurts when you buy gifts and don't get gifts in return. But that shouldn't stop you from buying the gifts. Some people have different ways of appreciation when something good is done to them. They may not buy you gifts but they may appreciate in a different way.
@Denis Hard While it is wonderful and pious to say that you should give without expecting a return, and while that is true to some extent, it can be very hurtful to not even have the thought of a gift in return from people that you care about deeply and put in a lot of effort and thought and care into gifts for them. Honestly.. i dont care about high end presents. I dont even need "stuff." If I even got a batch of homemade cookies with a nice card... or heck, even a card that was hand written with a really nice message in it would mean a lot. But unfortunately, with a couple members of my IMMEDIATE family (who have dual incomes, lots of "extra" money, and more time off than I ever have) they are very thoughtless when it comes to gifts. And I have to say, as much as I do like giving them presents that I put thought into (and even though i'm single/one income and not much free time-- i spend a good amount on gifts each year) and like the idea of giving without expectations, it still REALLY hurts my heart when the close family members dont reciprocate. It makes me very sad... and like I said, even if it WAS a money thing, even a homemade gift made especially for me with care and love would mean so very much...
@milyjohnson This is something that bothers me as it leaves me feeling that I'm not sure what to do. For example, I sent my Sister a birthday present and she didn't even bother saying happy birthday let alone send me a card or give me a present. Then the following Christmas she treated me the same. It left me feeling stupid and now I don't know whether I should continue or carry on giving.
This is a thing in my family. It is not a money issue either because the members doing it has money. My grandpa for Christmas and birthdays buy certain members gifts and on his birthday, Christmas, and Father's Day he gets no gift from them. This has been going on for several years now. They tell him they have ordered him something and it hasn't came in yet but he never sees it. So this year, he decided he was not going to get them anything. They got so mad because he has gotten things for everyone but them. I said well what is right is right you can not expect him to keep on buying gifts for you all for birthdays and such when you all does not show him the same respect. I mean it would be different if you did not have the money he would understand and not say one word because you didn't buy him anything as long as you simply wished him Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, or Happy Father's Day but that didn't even happen so I don't blame him for doing what he is doing!
